An Upended Day

26 Jan

This morning was one of those “death warmed up” mornings.

Yesterday our club had their annual Christmas party.

As usual it was a fun event, due to the camaraderie. A happy hour of free drinks, as part of the celebrations, didn’t hurt either.

And as usual the Spouse was dragged along as the designated driver (he knows his rightful place in life.)

And also as usual, the club members know how to party (and I am talking about responsible partying – not drunken orgies – and besides, most of the members are geriatrics and quite incapable of involvement in an orgy ;0 )

So there we were, waiting for the caterers to arrive, but the bar was generous and the temperature had dropped, from a total fire ban/machinery ban from earlier in the day.

I was sitting with “Rob” and his better half, “Yummy” (it’s a nickname, OK?!!), when Rob started convulsing in what resembled a catatonic fit:

“ARRRRRRGGGHHH!”, he screeched.

His head was jerked downwards and his eyes were fixated on his crutch (yeah you will have to forgive me and everyone else for automatically thinking that it was a case of “Tonight’s the Night!” And if you youngsters out there, do not know to which I am referring (and you can also learn some bloody grammar as well, cuz kids nowadays are all illiterate!))

Now, where was I? Oh yes, on Rob’s crutch – well not physically.. OK?

We looked to see where Rob was looking and saw a bloody sergeant ant and a bee in mortal combat. They were fighting every which way over Rob’s delicate parts area.

Honestly, it really resembled a fight scene out of Rocky or the duelling scene in High Noon.

None of us had ever seen anything like it and naturally I leaped for my camera to record the historic duel,

Unfortunately, I didn’t have a camera with me.

All I had was my iPhone, so it was pressed into service.

However, by the time I had found the freaking camera app doodad, the combatants had tumbled off Rob’s crutch onto the ground.

I managed to get a blurred pic of the combatants. Alas, one combatant had succumbed to his/her injuries and the victor, “Ricky the Red Devil Ant” was waving his fists in the air in victory.

So, that was last night, which ended quite early, cuz we have critters to feed etc.

Well, it should have ended quite early, but the left hind paw (it with the decorative embroidery) decided the night was still young, so insisted I stay up ( the paw and myself were quite sober, dammit!) Mebbe I should have given the paw a Rohypnol spiked drink!

So, this am was greeted by a bloodshot Woofess, who had not slept.

Obviously, the only course of action was to cancel Sunday.

So  I did.

Sorry folks. I know you all really wanted a 2 day weekend, but just wait till next weekend. You can have Saturday AND Sunday as well:)

Today was meant to be a leisurely drive up to Beverley for the annual Photography Club’s Xmas function. Alas, sleep deprivation and a sulking forelimb  decided this was not to be.

So, what do you do, if your weekend plans go asunder? Well, of course, you apply for a job!

As you know, applying for jobs is akin to going the dentist 😉 It is what you do if your weekend gets cancelled.

After cursing, backspacing and deleting, I finally got to send the latest job app (the last one I applied for was the disastrous Napoleon Dynamite one (yeah, you all know about these episodes in life – they are the “Ohhhhh Gawwwwd!” cringe-making episodes. And I know you have all had them, so stop crapping on!!)

Taking a deep exhaustive breath, I checked my messages.

Dalby D Destructo Dawg) had won a yearly photography contest (and no we are NOT talking about those scams who include your poems or prose and say you have won and then ask for money!!!)

I was so excited I let Dalby know she had won a modelling prize.

Silly me!

She is now quite insufferable and has stretched out on the GOOD LEATHER COUCH and is insisting on a team of eunuchs to fan her fevered brow and to feed her delicious and expensive doggy treats !!-

Woof, designated eunuch 😉

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